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I can get down with a few James Bond movies, although people seem to get weird when I say my favorite one is Moonraker. Don't look at me like that, I'm a sucker for corny space battles. But if I'm in the mood for some misogyny laden espionage most of the time I reach right passed Agent 007 towards something a little less pompous and with a lot more swimwear. The films of Andy Sidaris  take a more casual route with the sexy-people-stopping-terrorists trope, and what it loses in world shaking consequence it makes up for ass kicking playmates. His "The Triple B Collection" takes place in a world (mostly Hawaii) where the women are stacked, carry fire arms and do their best thinking in a Jacuzzi. One of the most true examples of classic fan service, the films provide overkill action sequence as well as ample T and A, while somehow almost feeling wholesome when compared to other trash classics (or most my movie collection in general). For many of us too young to have had a playboy subscription in 80s the movies were our introduction to famous playmates such as Donna Speir or cult superstar Julie Strain and were fun enough to be watchable on a boring day even edited for television(life was tough in the 90s). Sidaris made the 12 films that make up the series along with his wife as producer after 25 years in sports television, where I guess he pioneered several techniques that are still used today (including the "Honey Shot"). I wouldn't know, my dad was the sports guy. I am more the boobs and explosions guy. The kind of stuff you find in movies like Hard Ticket to Hawaii.
In a loose continuity to the first film we lose the mustache laden Cody Abilene (), for his much less lovable brother Rowdy(). Cody is brushed off in the movie as having gone off to Hollywood to become a star. The poster for Malibu Express can be seen in the background possibly explaining the first films retconned lack of the, now center stage, organized “Agency” of hot chicks (among other inconsistencies). Making Malibu Express a movie in-universe and therefore a fictional version of the events that took place, although it is more than possible I could be over thinking this films dedication to canon. Lucky for us, the facial hairless brother is overshadowed by the lead protagonists Donna() and Taryn(), a duo of lethal bombshells from "The Agency". Obviously when The Agency isn't stopping terrorists, the agents need day jobs so the ladies seem to take up odd jobs showing around tourists and transporting rare animals. A routine day of flying around to some of the best/worst music ever is disrupted when the two accidentally stumble upon a drug lord's diamond transporting RC-copters at the same time as they let loose a cancer(???) infected snake (not all the way their fault). After a daring shirt change mid flight during a electrical storm the girls assemble a clothing optional team of "Agents" (read male and female models with a variety of weapons) to take on the drug kingpin Mr. Chang() and the super snake. Of course the whole endeavor involves some showering, some gun play and some dude getting fucked up by a Frisbee with fucking razor-blades attached to it.
With this movie  all but solidified the format for the next 10 films in the series. The Hugh Hefner funded semi remake Malibu Express gets the ball rolling on things but the retroactively formed "Agency" added by this film would become the figurative bikini that held the bulk of the movies canon together. The film is also the first in the series to primarily follow a female lead, as opposed to the bumbling hunky country boy from Malibu Express, a trend that would become the standard throughout the rest.
 is a master in the art of the cornball action flick. The film walks the dangerous line among cable tittie flicks without breaking a sweat. While there is obvious focus on bare chested sculpted male and female bodies, the film never loses its story's building blocks or it's entertaining pace. The filmmaker was a traditional storyteller even if he got slightly hung up on certain details. The plot itself, while basic and goofy, is just as coherent if not more so than a majority of modern theater flicks. It also helped that he seems to get the best out of the the professional-lookers that make up the cast, which he has done consistently with the other films in the series as well. The acting is a hefty step above softcore and with more aware and enjoyable dialog.
The Action is entertaining and plentiful but always cornball as fuck. There is never much in the way of true threat or peril for the films protagonists, in the world of  the good gals always win. There plenty of good clean topless nudity (Never removed bottoms, Andy keeps it classy). A few short shots of gore that are more fun than anything and as with all of the films in the "L.E.T.H.A.L Ladies" series virtually devoid of single words that could offend your grandma.
If you have seen a Sidaris flick you know what you are in for and you're either down with that or not. His films are light hearted cheese with extra bikini shots, rarely mean and strangely optimistic. I have never been to Hawaii. Not out of principle or choice I have just been broke my whole life, but it makes me feel good to know Dona Speir is out there keeping that island safe for hot tubbing. There is good in this world.
1h 45min | 1985
Director: Andy Sidaris
Writer: Andy Sidaris


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